MommyCoddle

off the cutting room floor

The back of my National Geographic magazine has a page that shows one picture that didn't make the cut. One picture that was tossed aside and didn't make it into the preceding pages of stunning photography. Yet there was still something special about the photo. Special enough to rescue it from the cutting room floor and share it at the close of the magazine.
When I go through my week there are many posts that get written in my head that never make it to the blog. And there are many pictures that get taken but never shown. So today, I decided to rescue a few of those shots from my past week or so and share them here together--off my "cutting room" floor, if you will...

There is the picture that is one of my favorites I've taken in a really long time--shot holding my camera out the car window, feeling warm and blessed for the beautiful place where I live and wide open spaces.

The sunset shot, on the same evening that really captured the colors my eyes were seeing.

A day of lingering in the parking lot of the farm, watching the girls roller skate. The lingering that put me in the right place at the right time, to hear someone's cries for help, who was seriously hurt.

The post that made me notice and appreciate an early morning with all my girls in the kitchen with me.

The climax of the Star Magnolia tree outside my grandmother's porch.

The pillow--made for my dear college girlfriend--who sent me "the" envelope--and asked me to put together a package that would reveal the surprise to her and her husband. The pillow says, "oh boy!".....

The rainy day of math disguised as games...that started out so fun, but soon turned to attitude problems and then ended with me, sitting on the floor by myself wondering what happened.

Sometimes it makes me sad, when an idea or a moment, doesn't get shared. Because more often than not, I forget those moments. I've been keeping a five year journal now for the past six months. When I flip through old entries, I'm amazed while reading those four or five lines I jot down each night, how much I've forgotten. It's just the nature of life, I suppose. So maybe I'll start doing this a little more often--rescuing a few photos, a few stories off the cutting room floor at the end of the week. Then just maybe they won't be completely forgotten and that simple sentence or picture will remind me of a moment, a lesson learned, or a beautiful view that I don't want to lose.

home improvements:: the short version

Living Room: Pretty much done except for sanding/painting floors.
Formerly stinky blue carpeting, peeling, dirty walls that wouldn't take paint.
I sat down at the computer about an hour ago and started writing what I intended to be a quick catch up post, filling you all in on "the new house" that we'll be moving in to shortly. I wanted it to be nuts and bolts with a bunch of pictures. But as writing late at night will do to a person, it turned into a very long version. An unloading session of sorts. An "I should have been telling you guys about this all along and now there's way too much to say" kind of post. So instead of deleting it and losing all those thoughts and feelings and impressions, I gave it its own page and gave you a choice. Want the nuts and bolts? This post is all you need. Want the long, sitting in my living room catching up with a good friend version, it's on its own page found here. Or listed on my right-hand sidebar.

The first thing Dan did? Rip up pink carpeting from the stairs.

In the meantime, for you nuts and bolts readers:

We've been living in a two bedroom apartment on my grandparents' farm for the last two years. It's been a wonderful blessing to be here, be close to my grandmother, my father, my family and live in such a beautiful place. But at the same time there have been hard things, like the fact that my bedroom is technically in the living room, the living room is technically in the kitchen and my desk is technically at the front door. Oh, and I have three small children, and my wonderful husband up here in the garage apartment, too.

The kitchen--will have to wait. Can't afford to do everything. I'm cursed with another white floor.

So we're moving just around the corner, almost within sight distance, to a small farmhouse on a few acres. A generous opportunity given to us by family. A fixer-upper on the inside, and a lot of mowing and gardening on the outside.

The dining room: Rotten floor, as in fall through to the basement. Still very much in progress. The new floor is shown in the living room shot. It's acclimating and waiting for "work week".

Dan has done all the work on the house by himself. It has been long. It has been hard. He's been away from us to work on it a lot. But what would I do without him?

The "six and under suite". Pegs were a little surprise to me, from Dan. I want them everywhere. Really.

This weekend he's going to Wisconsin, getting a big old moving truck and bringing all our stuff out here. We'll move in shortly after. His brother, also a carpenter, is coming with him and staying for a week to work on the place, too.

The upstairs bathroom. Scares me.

I can't wait to be reunited with all my things that have been in Wisconsin storage. I might shed tears.

I'm excited. I'm anxious. I'm ready. Though it's all a little bittersweet, closing this season of living on the farm.  But a new season is just around the corner.

sunday afternoon :: monday morning

::Sunday afternoon::
Dan is over at "the new house" working to get walls mudded and paint on trim. I'm working my way around the house, trying to regain control of the weekend neglect before the new week starts. The front door of our porch slams open and Emma is there yelling for my help, right away! quickly! I go to the door and she's standing there in her plum-colored fleece and bright green knit cap (mine)--with the spool of kite string in her hand. Except the spool is empty. I peek out the door and see a faint line of string--from her hand, over the roof of the house, above the oak tree, above the barn--to a brightly colored dot of kite flailing in the sky. "I wanted to see how far out it could go. Then it pulled me all the way over here and into the trees. I can't get it down." Barefoot baby on my hip who's enjoying the show, we carefully tug the stubborn kite out of the sky, holding our breath as it tangles in the bare limbs of the oak tree three times before falling to the pavement.

::Monday morning::
Elizabeth is standing at the rails of her crib, squealing. I can hear Emma and Mary in the same room squealing and laughing too. A long wooden board--the adjustable shelf from an old bookcase is propped against the overstuffed chair in Elizabeth's room--a makeshift slide the girls have invented. They are sitting on dishtowels and sliding down the two and a half feet of board and laughing hysterically. Simple joys.

Spring is slowly sneaking in making subjects for my macro challenge plentiful. Everything seems ready to burst, though the landscape still looks a lot like winter when the sun isn't shining. Robins are boldly singing from the treetops and tugging tangled worms from the soft soil. Spring peepers are now just part of the sounds of night. But they still catch my attention when I walk outside. I'm eagerly watching the Magnolia in front of the "Big House". Each branch is in a different stage of openness. More here and here.

Happy Monday, everyone.

up close and personal

macro project 1:30

I just lost this whole post...firefox "closed unexpectedly" on me. It's never as good the second time, so you're going to have to settle for it in list form this time. I don't have the heart to go back and find all my links...

1. Either I'm going to have to start working on my autobiography, or I'm going to have one heck of an "about page". Wow. When a girl asks for questions you all sure do come through! I don't think there was a single question I didn't like. I spent many a laundry-folding and dish-washing session pondering your fabulous questions. And since they all can't be answered in a little old about page, I'll think I'll tackle some here over the next few weeks. Thank you for all the great ideas!

2. I've joined orange flower's 30-day macro photo challenge. (here is where I had lots of links to other creative projects on the web...) I'm jumping in a few days late...but I'll just start my 30 days, today. I'm really looking forward to this. I love that little macro button on my camera, and I've been in the mood for a good creative project.

3. You can pre-order the latest issue of MixTapeZine right over here. I wrote an article for this issue which was one of my "I can't write under pressure" deadlines from the last few weeks. I won't give you details on my review, but if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you can probably determine which favorite author I've written about.

And finally, some news from the home front that might bore anyone outside of my immediate family... (okay, might bore anyone but my husband):

*Did I ever tell you that the way I discovered Elizabeth was ready for some solid food (like Cheerios) was when I found her pounding the cat food? It's a constant battle in our home because I'm always forgetting to put the bowl up on the counter before putting Elizabeth down on the floor. The girl's got cat food radar. She always knows when it's down. And don't worry, I don't let her eat it. A simple, "Elizabeth???" Is there something in your mouth??" will cause her to spit all slimy contents into my palm.  She only has the occasional fit of lock jaw and refuses to give it up.

Emma has realized that if she plays with my hair while I'm at her bedside giving final kisses and hugs at night, I'll stay there for a ridiculously long period of time. Last night, when I attempted to pull my weak, relaxed body from her fingers that were twisted up in my hair she said, "Mom. Just let me play with your hair one more time while I count to 100." And I didn't even stop her when her brain got stuck on a loop between 40 and 60. How can I resist?

At Emma's riding lesson today she finally got it. Posting at a trot.(oddly, a video of a video) She's been working so hard to figure it out, but it's just one of those things you need to feel--like riding your bike without training wheels for the first time. I'm proud. And her sister is getting impatient for the day when it will be her turn. She's getting sick of sitting on the fence.

my friend friday

Ahhh, it's Friday. It's been one of those weeks that I'm ready to have over with.
One of those weeks where the smallness of our living space seems to be closing in on me. One of those weeks where your children play with everything but toys--plastic containers, your spices, toothbrushes, hand lotion and yarn.
One of those weeks where your children decide to climb into the overflowing closet and pull everything out of a tub of newborn baby clothes, looking for dresses for their dolls.
One of those weeks where while you're on your hands and knees cleaning up spilled orange juice that a 10 month old pulled down off the table onto herself and the floor, the cat jumps up onto the counter and knocks the whole tub of cat food on to the floor behind you.


So I've been a little distracted, dazed and frazzled. But it's Friday. And despite it all, I've managed to find little moments of peace and retreat.

Last night we had our first-ever paid babysitter. My cousin, who is worshiped by my children, came to watch the girls for a few hours. Unfortunately, Dan and I weren't using that babysitting time to go somewhere together--me a home schooling get together on lapbooking, Dan and my grandmother at a class at church. The lapbooking get together was like one big origami session (not that that's a bad thing)--and gave me lots of great ideas on how to bring some of our learning into more concrete, visual, finished products. (especially when a state review is looming in my future.)

Speaking of school, one of the bloggable bits that I never found time to write about this week was that Emma and I worked on our first Camp Creek art lesson--observational drawing. Emma was a bit of a stubborn student--didn't want to draw what I chose, wanted to erase, didn't want to include much detail. She's not one who likes to be given a lot of direct instruction. I'm always struggling to find the balance between getting things done with her that I feel we need to do, and letting her guide our learning. In the end, after I was up from the table and working on supper, she sat back down and did her own observational drawing of a little corner of our living room. I should know by now that almost everything is done on her time.


Well, I'm looking forward to a slow weekend with hints of a warm up. Today it's a snow/ice storm that lost a lot of steam over night. But we've still hunkered down for the day, lots of logs in the wood burner, knitting, getting out some clay, and soup for lunch.

Happy Weekend, everyone. More upbeat next week, I promise.

sweet reunion

Do you ever have dreams that make you wake up in a funk? Early this morning I woke up from a dream where Dan told me I should start looking for my own place to live with the girls, that I needed to move out. He was so polite and emotion-less. It was horrible. Then, in the dream, I was crying to my sister about it all and Dan walked in--"Listen," he said to my sister, "I didn't want to be in charge of leftovers, but she made me. I'm sorry." To which I remember, in the dream, looking down at a container of whipped cream cheese that was in my hand.

Ah, yes--those early morning, weirdo dreams. But I still made Dan get in bed with me for two more minutes before he left for work, just to be sure he wasn't leaving me over cream cheese and leftover spaghetti.

The picture above is how Sunday evening ended for our family--the girls taking turns standing on the desktop and having church. They're actually quite good at it. "Dear Jesus, I hope you are proud of all we're doing here today." And she makes us recite a little liturgy, too. Mary handles all the singing. And for the record, they do it with completely sincere hearts. So much so, that I almost feel uncomfortable, if I sit on the sofa and flip through a book while they have "church".

And after everyone was in bed, I had a little reunion, all alone, at my kitchen table. It was so good.

test tiles all in a row

playing around with a fish-shaped scrap

the leftovers, and hands that will now need lots of hand lotion.

coming up for air

Emma is trying to earn two dollars by cleaning the house. She's doing a bang up job actually, putting things away in the right places and spraying and wiping down every empty surface leaving me gasping for breath over the smells. Thank goodness she's using Mrs. Meyer's, so I don't feel too bad about inhaling the fumes. She even sprayed down the stove burners I noticed, as they started to smoke when I put on water for a cup of tea a few minutes ago.
But at least she's singing while she works. A few lines I've caught:

I've got to clean it right, right, RIGHT!
You start in one place and then you move to another!
I've got to clean for my mom who's doing nothing on the computer. (that one was on purpose.)
I love to clean, clean, CLEAN!

She's having what I call a very industrious day. She found some mini bulbs and planted them in little pots which are sitting on her desk. And she secretly altered her tea bag--horse themed, of course. She has three clothes pins at the ready, clipped to the waist band of her pants, with a rag tucked in her back pocket. Sometimes I think she's a budding Martha Stewart.

The pictures are from a snow storm that moved through the other day and is now almost completely gone except for some blotches of snow dotting the fields here and there. It was a beautiful snowfall.

And the miniswap is about half full. So don't worry that you're too late. There's still plenty of room.

another rider in the family

I'm not sure I can handle another rider in the family. This scene is becoming a regular occurrence around here.

Turns out I had two bumper stickers to give away. Stephanie and Margaret, they'll be coming your way. If you wanted one, and didn't get one here, you can find them at the American Farmland Trust website.

A little kid-love can be found over here. Please join in, if you feel so inclined. My new 'job' at BabyCenter has made me realize that there needs to be more energy invested in focusing on the good stuff that parenting and motherhood is all about.

The "I'm not posting"-post

Well, I wanted to sit down this afternoon and write another catch-up post. But I can't find my camera, my sewing machine is broken and I found my current knitting project in the dirty-laundry pile this morning. (I desperately need to knit up a hat for Elizabeth. It's really getting ridiculous. The newborn cotton knit hat just isn't cutting it in November. Any hat-makers for hire out there?)

And what I really want to do right now is toss another log on the stove, sit down with a cup of tea and catch up with all of you. I see the number 617 glaring at me in my feed reader--(I've switched to a new one, by the way--NetNewsWire. I really like it!) I miss reading your blogs. They bring me so much inspiration and sweetness and peace. So forgive the no post-post, but I'd rather hear what you have to say today.

In the meantime, thank you so much for all your etsy suggestions. I've written another handmade holidays feature and there will  be plenty more thanks to all of you.

And I'd love it if you'd check out my latest post. I think many of you will get what I'm saying. (and thanks to those that left comments this week. you have no idea how good it feels to see some familiar names over at my new gig.)

yes, there were horses

I didn't see Emma for most of the day yesterday. She turns into something closer to a fifteen year old during these kinds of events--running with the "big girls", hanging out near the ponies and only checking in with me when she needs me to hold something for her so she has more freedom to run.

I often introduce myself to her at the end of the day, "Hello, Emma. I'm you're mother. Remember me? It's nice to meet you." Then, she collapses into  my arms and I'm left with a basket case of a child that needs to be "pajama-ed", teeth brushed, face washed and carried off to bed.

It was a good day--horses, nature hikes, world class barbecue, bluegrass, artists, local cream...all in the name of land conservation.  And there's a good story in it all, too. But I'll save that for tomorrow--everyone is emerging from naps and dinner prep calls....